This is big news, folks! Those dancing (if that's what it was), singing (yeah, not so much), hot (never a fan) Brits announced that they're going on a staggering 11-city world tour.
Realizing just re-hashing their awful '90s music wasn't enough, they also updated their spice with new names. The new power group will consist of Decrepit Spice, Plastic Spice, Metamucil Spice, Cadaver Spice and Old Spice (props to Eric for that last one).
Other news about the tour has revealed that some of their old roadies will also be joining them, still having the superb ability and skillz to constantly tell them "Yes, you're very talented. Yes, you're soooo beautiful. Noooo, you don't look fat." and "Yes, the other girls in the group like you."
The all-girl group finished collapsing in 2001 after realizing that no one wanted to put up with them any longer. Recent news-worthy stories announced that Victoria Beckham (the former Posh Spice) is moving to Los Angeles, and Melanie Brown's (the former Scary Spice) new claim to fame is having Eddie Murphy as her baby daddy. The desperate-for-attention quinary saw that some are still interested, so they jumped at the chance to be scoffed or ignored by a new generation of listeners. Their original listeners have been quoted as saying, "What was I thinking?" and "I thought they died in a blimp accident."
Get in line now, as those 11 shows might sell out in a few months!
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