Jun 28, 2007

Spice Girls Reunion Tour!

This is big news, folks! Those dancing (if that's what it was), singing (yeah, not so much), hot (never a fan) Brits announced that they're going on a staggering 11-city world tour.

Realizing just re-hashing their awful '90s music wasn't enough, they also updated their spice with new names. The new power group will consist of Decrepit Spice, Plastic Spice, Metamucil Spice, Cadaver Spice and Old Spice (props to Eric for that last one).
Other news about the tour has revealed that some of their old roadies will also be joining them, still having the superb ability and skillz to constantly tell them "Yes, you're very talented. Yes, you're soooo beautiful. Noooo, you don't look fat." and "Yes, the other girls in the group like you."

The all-girl group finished collapsing in 2001 after realizing that no one wanted to put up with them any longer. Recent news-worthy stories announced that Victoria Beckham (the former Posh Spice) is moving to Los Angeles, and Melanie Brown's (the former Scary Spice) new claim to fame is having Eddie Murphy as her baby daddy. The desperate-for-attention quinary saw that some are still interested, so they jumped at the chance to be scoffed or ignored by a new generation of listeners. Their original listeners have been quoted as saying, "What was I thinking?" and "I thought they died in a blimp accident."

Get in line now, as those 11 shows might sell out in a few months!

Jun 27, 2007

The Little Mother That Could

Can't tell you how much I'm rooting for this woman... again! She's a single Mom that was sued by the RIAA, and after fighting with them in court, was able to have the suit against her thrown out. Two years of her life lost because of these bullies. Well now she's turning the tables with her own lawyers, and they've put together quite a laundry list of accusations... awesome.
If her lawyers did their homework, then this might be a nice precedent. Can't wait to see what happens here folks!

Jun 23, 2007

Found Koala pr0n

This photo was hanging behind our table at an Outback Steakhouse... I can't be the only one to see this in such a way. right??

Jun 10, 2007

Jun 7, 2007


Just boggles the mind.

Well I guess, by precedent, I don't have to worry about drunken driving laws in California.

Jun 6, 2007

Judge sues for lost pants?

In the You've Got to be Kidding Me category...

A Washington DC judge is suing a dry cleaner for losing a pair of pants... for $54M dollars. Yes, that's correct. Yes I know, I know, I'm being unfair here, he had lowered that amount from the ridiculous amount of $65M he had originally started the suit at. It's much more reasonable now.

I read this story, twice, and could not at all fathom how this man is allowed to continue to sit on a bench and be considered reasonable in any remote way. How scary is this that he is enforcing the legalities of our country. None of his colleagues have tried to talk sense into this guy? One of his claims has to do with a sign the dry cleaners had hanging that said, "Satisfaction Guaranteed". Yup, must be law, and any blunder should be seized upon with great vengeance and furious anger.

Why would any reasonable person sue for that much money for. losing. a. pair. of. pants?

How special were these pants? Oh, it must be about the principle, right? Must be. Who knows, maybe they were jerks, too. So, if they were bad business persons, wouldn't it be the consumer's (-cough- Judge) responsibility to not patronize said business? But if that wasn't the case, and this business DOES have a good reputation, and has treated this consumer well during past business exchanges (-cough- Hawaiian shirts and capris), then their first mistake is so unforgivable that you have to drive them out of business and destroy their reputation entirely? Who ARE you?

Hey "Judge", send me your home address, and I'll pack you up not one, but TWO pairs of chinos, so you can drop this lawsuit and get back to what's really important... like resigning. Ass.

You know, come to think of it, last week I ordered a small drink and was delivered a medium. Because of the stress of being forced to drink the entire thing rather than be wasteful, I believe I may now sue them for a very reasonable $97M. It's not about the money, it's about the principle... they should NOT have made a mistake!!

Jun 5, 2007

For Sale: 1957 Plymouth Belvedere Sport Coupe

Practically New! Extremely few miles!

Offered AS IS. Sorry, no refunds.

Will be available after June 15th.